A "practical joker" deserves applause for his wit according to its quality.
Bastinado is about right.  For exceptional wit one might grant keelhauling.
But staking him out on an anthill should be reserved for the very wittiest.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
A 'full' life in my experience is usually full only of other people's demands.
%
A bore is a man who talks so much about himself that you can't talk about
yourself.
%
A bore is someone who persists in holding his own views after we have
enlightened him with ours.
%
A city is a large community where people are lonesome together
		-- Herbert Prochnow
%
A compliment is something like a kiss through a veil.
		-- Victor Hugo
%
A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern.
		-- Edgar A. Shoaff
%
A fair exterior is a silent recommendation.
		-- Publilius Syrus
%
A friend is a present you give yourself.
		-- Robert Louis Stevenson
%
A gossip is one who talks to you about others, a bore is one who talks to
you about himself; and a brilliant conversationalist is one who talks to
you about yourself.
		-- Lisa Kirk
%
A green hunting cap squeezed the top of the fleshy balloon of a head.  The
green earflaps, full of large ears and uncut hair and the fine bristles that
grew in the ears themselvse, stuck out on either side like turn signals
indicating two directions at once.  Full, pursed lips protruded beneath the
bushy black moustache and, at their corners, sank into little folds filled
with disapproval and potato chip crumbs.  In the shadow under the green visor
of the cap Ignatius J. Reilly's supercilious blue and yellow eyes looked down
upon the other people waiting under the clock at the D.H. Holmes department
store, studying the crowd of people for signs of bad taste in dress.  Several
of the outfits, Ignatius noticed, were new enough and expensive enough to be
properly considered offenses against taste and decency.  Possession of
anything new or expensive only reflected a person's lack of theology and
geometry; it could even cast doubts upon one's soul.
		-- John Kennedy Toole, "Confederacy of Dunces"
%
A healthy male adult bore consumes each year one and a half times his own
weight in other people's patience.
		-- John Updike
%
A man is crawling through the Sahara desert when he is approached by another
man riding on a camel.  When the rider gets close enough, the crawling man
whispers through his sun-parched lips, "Water... please... can you give...
water..."
	"I'm sorry," replies the man on the camel, "I don't have any water
with me.  But I'd be delighted to sell you a necktie."
	"Tie?" whispers the man.  "I need *water*."
	"They're only four dollars apiece."
	"I need *water*."
	"Okay, okay, say two for seven dollars."
	"Please!  I need *water*!", says the man.
	"I don't have any water, all I have are ties," replies the salesman,
and he heads off into the distance.
	The man, losing track of time, crawls for what seems like days.
Finally, nearly dead, sun-blind and with his skin peeling and blistering, he
sees a restaurant in the distance.  Summoning the last of his strength he
staggers up to the door and confronts the head waiter.
	"Water... can I get... water," the dying man manages to stammer.
	"I'm sorry, sir, ties required."
%
A man of genius makes no mistakes.
His errors are volitional and are the portals of discovery.
		-- James Joyce, "Ulysses"
%
	A man pleaded innocent of any wrong doing when caught by the police
during a raid at the home of a mobster, excusing himself by claiming that he
was making a bolt for the door.
%
A man who keeps stealing mopeds is an obvious cycle-path.
%
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
%
A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.
%
A man would still do something out of sheer perversity - he would create
destruction and chaos - just to gain his point... and if all this could in
turn be analyzed and prevented by predicting that it would occur, then man
would deliberately go mad to prove his point.
		-- Feodor Dostoevsky, "Notes From the Underground"
%
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
		-- Gore Vidal
%
A paranoid is a man who knows a little of what's going on.
		-- William S. Burroughs
%
A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the pants.
%
	"A penny for your thoughts?"
	"A dollar for your death."
		-- The Odd Couple
%
A person forgives only when they are in the wrong.
%
A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.
%
A person who has nothing looks at all there is and wants something.
A person who has something looks at all there is and wants all the rest.
%
A pessimist is a man who has been compelled to live with an optimist.
		-- Elbert Hubbard
%
A pretty foot is one of the greatest gifts of nature... please send me your
last pair of shoes, already worn out in dancing... so I can have something
of yours to press against my heart.
		-- Goethe
%
A prig is a fellow who is always making you a present of his opinions.
		-- George Eliot
%
A private sin is not so prejudicial in the world as a public indecency.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
%
A real friend isn't someone you use once and then throw away.
A real friend is someone you can use over and over again.
%
A real person has two reasons for doing anything ... a good reason and
the real reason.
%
A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single 
man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%
A sadist is a masochist who follows the Golden Rule.
%
A sense of humor keen enough to show a man his own absurdities will keep
him from the commission of all sins, or nearly all, save those that are
worth committing.
		-- Samuel Butler
%
	"...A strange enigma is man!"
	"Someone calls him a soul concealed in an animal," I suggested.
	"Winwood Reade is good upon the subject," said Holmes.  "He remarked
that, while the individual man is an insoluble puzzle, in the aggregate he
becomes a mathematical certainty.  You can, for example, never foretell what
any one man will do, but you can say with precision what an average number
will be up to.  Individuals vary, but percentages remain constant.  So says
the statistician."
		-- Sherlock Holmes, "The Sign of Four"
%
A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention,
and especially from inactivity in the affairs of others.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
A truly great man will neither trample on a worm nor sneak to an emperor.
		-- B. Franklin
%
A well adjusted person is one who makes the same mistake twice without
getting nervous.
%
A well-known friend is a treasure.
%
	A young honeymoon couple were touring southern Florida and happened 
to stop at one of the rattlesnake farms along the road.  After seeing the 
sights, they engaged in small talk with the man that handled the snakes.
"Gosh!" exclaimed the new bride.  "You certainly have a dangerous job.
Don't you ever get bitten by the snakes?"
	"Yes, upon rare occasions," answered the handler.
	"Well," she continued, "just what do you do when you're bitten by
a snake?"
	"I always carry a razor-sharp knife in my pocket, and as soon as I
am bitten, I make deep criss-cross marks across the fang entry and then
suck the poison from the wound."
	"What, uh... what would happen if you were to accidentally *sit* on
a rattler?" persisted the woman.
	"Ma'am," answered the snake handler, "that will be the day I learn
who my real friends are."
%
Accept people for what they are -- completely unacceptable.
%
According to the obituary notices, a mean and unimportant person never dies.
%
Adam was but human--this explains it all.  He did not want the apple for the
apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden.  The mistake was in
not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent.
		-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
%
Advice is a dangerous gift; be cautious about giving and receiving it.
%
Advice to young men: Be ascetic, and if you can't be ascetic,
then at least be aseptic.
%
After all, it is only the mediocre who are always at their best.
		-- Jean Giraudoux
%
After all, what is your hosts' purpose in having a party?  Surely not for
you to enjoy yourself; if that were their sole purpose, they'd have simply
sent champagne and women over to your place by taxi.
		-- P.J. O'Rourke
%
After living in New York, you trust nobody, but you believe everything.
Just in case.
%
	After Snow White used a couple rolls of film taking pictures of the
seven dwarfs, she mailed the roll to be developed.  Later she was heard to
sing, "Some day my prints will come."
%
Against stupidity the very gods Themselves contend in vain.
		-- Friedrich von Schiller, "The Maid of Orleans", III, 6
%
Ah say, son, you're about as sharp as a bowlin' ball.
%
Ah, sweet Springtime, when a young man lightly turns his fancy over!
%
Al didn't smile for forty years.  You've got to admire a man like that.
		-- from "Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman"
%
Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself
or not.  Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has
a beginning and an end.  Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of bed, and
Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm.
		-- Tom Robbins
%
All God's children are not beautiful.  Most of God's children are, in fact,
barely presentable.
		-- Fran Lebowitz, "Metropolitan Life"
%
All his life he has looked away... to the horizon, to the sky,
to the future.  Never his mind on where he was, on what he was doing.
		-- Yoda
%
All I ask of life is a constant and exaggerated sense of my own importance.
%
All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%
All I've got left on the list of desirable vocations is heiress to the
throne of any country in Western Europe and Laurie Anderson.  "Be
practical", was the choral reply from the dinner table.  Well, Laurie
Anderson is already Laurie Anderson, but I read an article in Harpers
that said there were eleven countries, in the world this is I think,
that have queens as sovereign rulers.  That's probably my best shot.
%
All men have the right to wait in line.
%
All men profess honesty as long as they can.  To believe all men honest
would be folly.  To believe none so is something worse.
		-- John Quincy Adams
%
All most people want is a little more than they'll ever get.
%
All my friends and I are crazy.  That's the only thing that keeps us sane.
%
"All my life I wanted to be someone; I guess I should have been more specific."
		-- Jane Wagner
%
All of the animals except man know that the principal business of life is
to enjoy it.
%
All possibility of understanding is rooted in the ability to say no.
		-- Susan Sontag
%
All progress is based upon a universal innate desire of every organism
to live beyond its income.
		-- Samuel Butler, "Notebooks"
%
All the world's a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
		-- Sean O'Casey
%
All we know is the phenomenon: we spend our time sending messages to each
other, talking and trying to listen at the same time, exchanging information.
This seems to be our most urgent biological function; it is what we do with
our lives."
		-- Lewis Thomas, "The Lives of a Cell"
%
Always borrow money from a pessimist; he doesn't expect to be paid back.
%
Always remember that you are unique.  Just like everyone else.
%
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.
		-- Charlie McCarthy
%
America's best buy for a quarter is a telephone call to the right person.
%
An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.
%
An elderly couple were flying to their Caribbean hideaway on a chartered plane
when a terrible storm forced them to land on an uninhabited island.  When
several days passed without rescue, the couple and their pilot sank into a
despondent silence. Finally, the woman asked her husband if he had made his
usual pledge to the United Way Campaign.
	"We're running out of food and water and you ask *that*?" her husband
barked.  "If you really need to know, I not only pledged a half million but
I've already paid them half of it."
	"You owe the U.W.C. a *quarter million*?" the woman exclaimed
euphorically.  "Don't worry, Harry, they'll find us!  They'll find us!"
%
An evil mind is a great comfort.
%
An excellence-oriented '80s male does not wear a regular watch.  He wears
a Rolex watch, because it weighs nearly six pounds and is advertised
only in excellence-oriented publications such as Fortune and Rich
Protestant Golfer Magazine.  The advertisements are written in
incomplete sentences, which is how advertising copywriters denote excellence:

"The Rolex Hyperion.  An elegant new standard in quality excellence and
discriminating handcraftsmanship.  For the individual who is truly able
to discriminate with regard to excellent quality standards of crafting
things by hand.  Fabricated of 100 percent 24-karat gold.  No watch parts
or anything.  Just a great big chunk on your wrist.  Truly a timeless
statement.  For the individual who is very secure.  Who doesn't need to
be reminded all the time that he is very successful. Much more successful
than the people who laughed at him in high school.  Because of his acne.
People who are probably nowhere near as successful as he is now.  Maybe
he'll go to his 20th reunion, and they'll see his Rolex Hyperion.
Hahahahahahahahaha."
		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
%
An expert is a person who avoids the small errors as he sweeps on to the
grand fallacy.
		-- Benjamin Stolberg
%
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows
absolutely everything about nothing.
%
An idealist is one who helps the other fellow to make a profit.
		-- Henry Ford
%
An infallible method of conciliating a tiger is to allow oneself to be
devoured.
		-- Konrad Adenauer
%
An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself.
		-- Albert Camus
%
An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience.
		-- Don Marquis
%
And I suppose the little things are harder to get used to than the big
ones.  The big ones you get used to, you make up your mind to them.  The
little things come along unexpectedly, when you aren't thinking about
them, aren't braced against them.
		-- Marion Zimmer Bradley, "The Forbidden Tower"
%
And I will do all these good works, and I will do them for free!
My only reward will be a tombstone that says "Here lies Gomez Addams --
he was good for nothing."
		-- Jack Sharkey, The Addams Family
%
And on the eighth day, we bulldozed it.
%
And the crowd was stilled.  One elderly man, wondering at the sudden silence,
turned to the Child and asked him to repeat what he had said.  Wide-eyed,
the Child raised his voice and said once again, "Why, the Emperor has no
clothes!  He is naked!"
		-- "The Emperor's New Clothes"
%
"And, you know, I mustn't preach to you, but surely it wouldn't be right for
you to take away people's pleasure of studying your attire, by just going
and making yourself like everybody else.  You feel that, don't you?"  said
he, earnestly.
		-- William Morris, "Notes from Nowhere"
%
Anger is momentary madness.
		-- Horace
%
Anger kills as surely as the other vices.
%
Animals can be driven crazy by putting too many in too small a pen.
Homo sapiens is the only animal that voluntarily does this to himself.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
		-- Charles McCabe
%
Any coward can sit in his home and criticize a pilot for flying into a
mountain in a fog.  But I would rather, by far, die on a mountainside
than in bed.  What kind of man would live where there is no daring?
And is life so dear that we should blame men for dying in adventure?
Is there a better way to die?
		-- Charles Lindbergh
%
Any fool can tell the truth, but it requires a man of sense to know
how to lie well.
		-- Samuel Butler
%
Any man can work when every stroke of his hand brings down the fruit
rattling from the tree to the ground; but to labor in season and out of
season, under every discouragement, by the power of truth -- that
requires a heroism which is transcendent.
		-- Henry Ward Beecher
%
Any man who hates dogs and babies can't be all bad.
		-- Leo Rosten, on W.C. Fields
%
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
%
Anybody who doesn't cut his speed at the sight of a police car is
probably parked.
%
Anybody with money to burn will easily find someone to tend the fire.
%
Anyone can become angry -- that is easy; but to be angry with the right
person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose
and in the right way -- that is not easy.
		-- Aristotle
%
"Anyone can say 'no'. It is the first word a child learns and often the
first word he speaks. It is a cheap word because it requires no
explanation, and many men and women have acquired a reputation for
intelligence who know only this word and have used it in place of
thought on every occasion."
                -- Chuck Jones (Warner Bros. animation director.)
%
Anyone stupid enough to be caught by the police is probably guilty.
%
Apathy Club meeting this Friday.  If you want to come, you're not invited.
%
"Apathy is not the problem, it's the solution"
%
Appearances often are deceiving.
		-- Aesop
%
Are your glasses mended with a strip of masking tape right over your nose?
Do you put pennies in the slots in your penny loafers?
Does your bow-tie flash "hey you kid" in red neon at parties?
Do you think pizza before noon is unhealthy?
Do you use the "greasy kid's stuff" to stick down your cowlick?
Do you wear a "nerd-pack" in your shirt pocket to keep the dozen
	or so pencils from marking the cloth?
Do you think Mary Jane is somebody's name?
Is illegal fishing something only a daring criminal would do?
Is Batman your hero?  Superman?  Green Lantern?  The Shadow?
Do you think girls who kiss on the first date are loose?
%
	Rate yourself on the nerd-o-matic scale. (1 point for each YES answer)
0-2  -- You are really hip, a real cool cat, a hoopy frood.
3-5  -- There is hope for you yet.
6-7  -- Uh-oh, trouble in River City.
8-10 -- Your immortal soul is in peril.
11+  -- Does suicide seem attractive?
%
Argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they're yours.
		-- Messiah's Handbook : Reminders for the Advanced Soul
%
Arguments are extremely vulgar, for everyone in good society holds exactly
the same opinion.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
"Arguments with furniture are rarely productive."
		-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
%
As crazy as hauling timber into the woods.
		-- Quintus Horatius Flaccus (Horace)
%
As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

 1. I salivate at the sight of mittens.
 2. If I go into the street, I'm apt to be bitten by a horse.
 3. Some people never look at me.
 4. Spinach makes me feel alone.
 5. My sex life is A-okay.
 6. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
 7. I like to kill mosquitoes.
 8. Cousins are not to be trusted.
 9. It makes me embarrassed to fall down.
10. I get nauseous from too much roller skating.
11. I think most people would cry to gain a point.
12. I cannot read or write.
13. I am bored by thoughts of death.
14. I become homicidal when people try to reason with me.
15. I would enjoy the work of a chicken flicker.
16. I am never startled by a fish.
17. My mother's uncle was a good man.
18. I don't like it when somebody is rotten.
19. People who break the law are wise guys.
20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
%
As many of you know, I am taking a class here at UNC on Personality.
One of the tests to determine personality in our book was so incredibly
useful and interesting, I just had to share it.

Answer each of the following items "true" or "false"

 1. I think beavers work too hard.
 2. I use shoe polish to excess.
 3. God is love.
 4. I like mannish children.
 5. I have always been diturbed by the sight of Lincoln's ears.
 6. I always let people get ahead of me at swimming pools.
 7. Most of the time I go to sleep without saying goodbye.
 8. I am not afraid of picking up door knobs.
 9. I believe I smell as good as most people.
10. Frantic screams make me nervous.
11. It's hard for me to say the right thing when I find myself in a room
    full of mice.
12. I would never tell my nickname in a crisis.
13. A wide necktie is a sign of disease.
14. As a child I was deprived of licorice.
15. I would never shake hands with a gardener.
16. My eyes are always cold.
17. Cousins are not to be trusted.
18. When I look down from a high spot, I want to spit.
19. I am never startled by a fish.
20. I have never gone to pieces over the weekend.
%
As you grow older, you will still do foolish things, but you will do them
with much more enthusiasm.
		-- The Cowboy
%
Ask not what's inside your head, but what your head's inside of.
		-- J.J. Gibson
%
Ask yourself whether you are happy and you cease to be so.
		-- John Stuart Mill
%
Associate with well-mannered persons and your manners will improve.  Run
with decent folk and your own decent instincts will be strengthened.  Keep
the company of bums and you will become a bum.  Hang around with rich people
and you will end by picking up the check and dying broke.
		-- Stanley Walker
%
At no time is freedom of speech more precious than when a man hits his
thumb with a hammer.
		-- Marshall Lumsden
%
Back when I was a boy, it was 40 miles to everywhere, uphill both ways
and it was always snowing.
%
Bacon's not the only thing that's cured by hanging from a string.
%
Bad men live that they may eat and drink, whereas good men eat and drink
that they may live.
		-- Socrates
%
Be braver -- you can't cross a chasm in two small jumps.
%
Be careful how you get yourself involved with persons or situations that
can't bear inspection.
%
Be careful what you set your heart on -- for it will surely be yours.
		-- James Baldwin, "Nobody Knows My Name"
%
Be incomprehensible.  If they can't understand, they can't disagree.
%
Be independent.  Insult a rich relative today.
%
Be nice to people on the way up, because you'll meet them on your way down.
		-- Wilson Mizner
%
Be not anxious about what you have, but about what you are.
		-- Pope St. Gregory I
%
Be open to other people -- they may enrich your dream.
%
Be self-reliant and your success is assured.
%
Be valiant, but not too venturous.
Let thy attire be comely, but not costly.
		-- John Lyly
%
Beauty may be skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone.
		-- Redd Foxx
%
Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.
		-- Addison H. Hallock
%
Before destruction a man's heart is haughty, but humility goes before honour.
		-- Proverbs 18:12
%
Being popular is important.  Otherwise people might not like you.
%
Being ugly isn't illegal.  Yet.
%
Better by far you should forget and smile than that you should remember
and be sad.
		-- Christina Rossetti
%
Beware of self-styled experts: an ex is a has-been, and a spurt is a
drip under pressure.
%
Beware of the man who knows the answer before he understands the question.
%
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and
finds himself no wiser than before," Bokonon tells us.  "He is full of
murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by
their ignorance the hard way."
		-- Kurt Vonnegut, "Cat's Cradle"
%
BEWARE!  People acting under the influence of human nature.
%
Birds are entangled by their feet and men by their tongues.
%
Birthdays are like busses, never the number you want.
%
Blessed are the forgetful:  for they get the better even of their blunders.
		-- Nietzsche
%
Blessed are they that have nothing to say, and who cannot be persuaded
to say it.
		-- James Russell Lowell
%
Blessed is he who expects no gratitude, for he shall not be disappointed.
		-- W.C. Bennett
%
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
		-- Alexander Pope
%
Blessed is he who has reached the point of no return and knows it,
for he shall enjoy living.
		-- W.C. Bennett
%
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving
wordy evidence of the fact.
		-- George Eliot
%
Bounders get bound when they are caught bounding.
		-- Ralph Lewin
%
Brisk talkers are usually slow thinkers.  There is, indeed, no wild beast
more to be dreaded than a communicative man having nothing to communicate.
If you are civil to the voluble, they will abuse your patience; if
brusque, your character.
		-- Jonathan Swift
%
Buck-passing usually turns out to be a boomerang.
%
But I find the old notions somehow appealing.  Not that I want to go back
to them -- it is outrageous to have some outer authority tell you what is
proper use and abuse of your own faculties, and it is ludicrous to hold
reason higher than body or feeling.  Still there is something true and
profoundly sane about the belief that acts like murder or theft or
assault violate the doer as well as the done to.  We might even, if we
thought this way, have less crime.  The popular view of crime, as far as
I can deduce it from the movies and television, is that it is a breaking
of a rule by someone who thinks they can get away with that; implicitly,
everyone would like to break the rule, but not everyone is arrogant
enough to imagine they can get away with it.  It therefore becomes very
important for the rule upholders to bring such arrogance down.
		-- Marilyn French, "The Woman's Room"
%
But Officer, I stopped for the last one, and it was green!
%
"But officer, I was only trying to gain enough speed so I could coast
to the nearest gas station."
%
But since I knew now that I could hope for nothing of greater value than 
frivolous pleasures, what point was there in denying myself of them?  
		-- M. Proust
%
By doing just a little every day, you can gradually let the task
completely overwhelm you.
%
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
%
By nature, men are nearly alike; by practice, they get to be wide apart.
		-- Confucius
%
Calling you stupid is an insult to stupid people!
		-- Wanda, "A Fish Called Wanda"
%
Can you buy friendship?  You not only can, you must.  It's the
only way to obtain friends.  Everything worthwhile has a price.
		-- Robert J. Ringer
%
Certainly there are things in life that money can't buy,
But it's very funny -- did you ever try buying them without money?
		-- Ogden Nash
%
Character is what you are in the dark!
		-- Lord John Whorfin
%
Charlie Brown:	Why was I put on this earth?
Linus:		To make others happy.
Charlie Brown:	Why were others put on this earth?
%
Charm is a way of getting the answer "Yes" -- without having asked any
clear question.
%
Class, that's the only thing that counts in life.  Class.
Without class and style, a man's a bum; he might as well be dead.
		-- "Bugsy" Siegel
%
Class: when they're running you out of town, to look like you're
leading the parade.
		-- Bill Battie
%
Clones are people two.
%
Cloning is the sincerest form of flattery.
%
Coming together is a beginning;
	keeping together is progress;
		working together is success.
%
Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at
different speeds.  A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
		-- Clive James
%
Common sense is instinct, and enough of it is genius.
		-- Josh Billings
%
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
		-- Albert Einstein
%
Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world.
Everyone thinks he has enough.
	-- Descartes, 1637
%
Conceit causes more conversation than wit.
		-- LaRouchefoucauld
%
Confess your sins to the Lord and you will be forgiven;
confess them to man and you will be laughed at.
		-- Josh Billings
%
Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is
good for dandruff.
		-- Peter de Vries
%
Confession is good for the soul, but bad for the career.
%
Confessions may be good for the soul, but they are bad for the reputation.
		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
%
Confidence is simply that quiet, assured feeling you have before you
fall flat on your face.
		-- Dr. L. Binder
%
Confidence is the feeling you have before you understand the situation.
%
Conformity is the refuge of the unimaginative.
%
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
		-- H. L. Mencken
%
Conscience is the inner voice that warns us somebody may be looking.
		-- H.L. Mencken, "A Mencken Chrestomathy"
%
Conscience is what hurts when everything else feels so good.
%
Conscious is when you are aware of something and conscience is when you
wish you weren't.
%
Convention is the ruler of all.
		-- Pindar
%
Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the school of genius.
%
Cops never say good-bye. They're always hoping to see you again in the line-up.
		-- Raymond Chandler
%
Correction does much, but encouragement does more.
		-- Goethe
%
Courage is fear that has said its prayers.
%
Courage is grace under pressure.
%
Creativity in living is not without its attendant difficulties, for
peculiarity breeds contempt. And the unfortunate thing about being
ahead of your time when people finally realize you were right, they'll
say it was obvious all along.
		-- Alan Ashley-Pitt
%
Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you are doing.
%
Creativity is not always bred in an environment of tranquility;
sometimes you have to squeeze a little to get the paste out of the tube.
%
Criticism comes easier than craftsmanship.
		-- Zeuxis
%
Dare to be naive.
		-- R. Buckminster Fuller
%
Dave Mack:	"Your stupidity, Allen, is simply not up to par."
Allen Gwinn:	"Yours is."
%
Dear Lord: Please make my words sweet and tender, for tomorrow I may
have to eat them.
%
Death rays don't kill people, people kill people!!
%
Defeat is worse than death because you have to live with defeat.
		-- Bill Musselman
%
Delay is preferable to error.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
Dishonor will not trouble me, once I am dead.
		-- Euripides
%
Distance doesn't make you any smaller, but it does make you part of a
larger picture.
%
Do clones have navels?
%
Do more than anyone expects, and pretty soon everyone will expect more.
%
Do not do unto others as you would they should do unto you.  Their tastes
may not be the same.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
%
Do not think by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
%
Do not try to solve all life's problems at once -- learn to dread each
day as it comes.
		-- Donald Kaul
%
Do you know, I think that Dr. Swift was silly to laugh about Laputa.  I
believe it is a mistake to make a mock of people, just because they think.
There are ninety thousand people in this world who do not think, for every
one who does, and these people hate the thinkers like poison.  Even if some
thinkers are fanciful, it is wrong to make fun of them for it.  Better to
think about cucumbers even, than not to think at all.
		-- T.H. White
%
Do you mean that you not only want a wrong answer, but a certain wrong answer?
		-- Tobaben
%
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take
the time to take the dirt out of them?
%
Don't be overly suspicious where it's not warranted.
%
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
%
Don't change the reason, just change the excuses!
		-- Joe Cointment
%
Don't confuse things that need action with those that take care of themselves.
%
Don't despise your poor relations, they may become suddenly rich one day.
		-- Josh Billings
%
Don't ever slam a door; you might want to go back.
%
Don't expect people to keep in step--it's hard enough just staying in line.
%
Don't hit a man when he's down -- kick him; it's easier.
%
Don't interfere with the stranger's style.
%
Don't put too fine a point to your wit for fear it should get blunted.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
%
Don't remember what you can infer.
		-- Harry Tennant
%
Don't say "yes" until I finish talking.
		-- Darryl F. Zanuck
%
Don't shoot until you're sure you both aren't on the same side.
%
Don't shout for help at night.  You might wake your neighbors.
		-- Stanislaw J. Lem, "Unkempt Thoughts"
%
Don't tell me that worry doesn't do any good.  I know better.  The things
I worry about don't happen.
		-- Watchman Examiner
%
Don't tell me what you dreamed last night for I've been reading Freud.
%
Don't try to have the last word -- you might get it.
		-- Lazarus Long
%
Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes.  I get stranger things than you free
with my breakfast cereal.
		-- Zaphod Beeblebrox
%
Don't worry about avoiding temptation -- as you grow older, it starts
avoiding you.
		-- The Old Farmer's Almanac
%
Don't worry about people stealing your ideas.  If your ideas are any good,
you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
		-- Howard Aiken
%
Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you.  They're too
busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.
%
Don't you wish that all the people who sincerely want to help you
could agree with each other?
%
Dorothy:	But how can you talk without a brain?
Scarecrow:	Well, I don't know... but some people without brains
		do an awful lot of talking.
		-- The Wizard of Oz
%
Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.
		-- Voltaire
%
Drive defensively.  Buy a tank.
%
Early to bed and early to rise and you'll be groggy when everyone else is
wide awake.
%
	Eeyore, the old grey Donkey, stood by the side of the stream, and
looked at himself in the water.
	"Pathetic," he said.  "That's what it is.  Pathetic."
	He turned and walked slowly down the stream for twenty yards,
splashed across it, and walked slowly back on the other side.  Then he
looked at himself again.
	"As I thought," he said, "no better from *____this* side.  But nobody
minds.  Nobody cares.  Pathetic, that's what it is.
		-- A.A. Milne, "Winnie the Pooh," Chapter VI, "In Which Eeyore
		   Has a Birthday and Gets Two Presents"
%
Elevators smell different to midgets.
%
Enjoy your life; be pleasant and gay, like the birds in May.
%
Enjoy yourself while you're still old.
%
Envy is a pain of mind that successful men cause their neighbors.
		-- Onasander
%
Etiquette is for those with no breeding; fashion for those with no taste.
%
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
%
Even God lends a hand to honest boldness.
		-- Menander
%
Even if you persuade me, you won't persuade me.
		-- Aristophanes
%
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
		-- Will Rogers
%
Even moderation ought not to be practiced to excess.
%
	Everthing is farther away than it used to be.  It is even twice as
far to the corner and they have added a hill.  I have given up running for
the bus; it leaves earlier than it used to.
	It seems to me they are making the stairs steeper than in the old
days.  And have you noticed the smaller print they use in the newspapers?
	There is no sense in asking anyone to read aloud anymore, as everbody
speaks in such a low voice I can hardly hear them.
	The material in dresses is so skimpy now, especially around the hips
and waist, that it is almost impossible to reach one's shoelaces.  And the
sizes don't run the way they used to.  The 12's and 14's are so much smaller.
	Even people are changing.  They are so much younger than they used to
be when I was their age.  On  the other hand people my age are so much older
than I am.
	I ran into an old classmate the other day and she has aged so much
that she didn't recognize me.
	I got to thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair
this morning and in so doing I glanced at my own reflection.  Really now,
they don't even make good mirrors like they used to.
		Sandy Frazier, "I Have Noticed"
%
Every improvement in communication makes the bore more terrible.
		-- Frank Moore Colby
%
Every man is apt to form his notions of things difficult to be apprehended,
or less familiar, from their analogy to things which are more familiar.
Thus, if a man bred to the seafaring life, and accustomed to think and talk
only of matters relating to navigation, enters into discourse upon any other
subject; it is well known, that the language and the notions proper to his
own profession are infused into every subject, and all things are measured
by the rules of navigation: and if he should take it into his head to
philosophize concerning the faculties of the mind, it cannot be doubted,
but he would draw his notions from the fabric of the ship, and would find
in the mind, sails, masts, rudder, and compass.
		-- Thomas Reid, "An Inquiry into the Human Mind", 1764
%
Every man is as God made him, ay, and often worse.
		-- Miguel de Cervantes
%
Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits
of the world.
		-- Schopenhauer
%
Every time I look at you I am more convinced of Darwin's theory.
%
Everybody has something to conceal.
		-- Humphrey Bogart
%
Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.
		-- Dykstra
%
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
%
Everyone complains of his memory, no one of his judgement.
%
Everyone hates me because I'm paranoid.
%
Everyone is a genius.  It's just that some people are too stupid to realize it.
%
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
%
Everyone is more or less mad on one point.
		-- Rudyard Kipling
%
Everyone talks about apathy, but no one ____does anything about it.
%
Everyone wants results, but no one is willing to do what it takes to get them.
		-- Dirty Harry
%
Everyone was born right-handed.  Only the greatest overcome it.
%
Everyone's in a high place when you're on your knees.
%
Evil is that which one believes of others.  It is a sin to believe evil
of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
		-- H.L. Mencken
%
Example is not the main thing in influencing others.  It is the only thing.
		-- Albert Schweitzer
%
	Excellence is THE trend of the '80s.  Walk into any shopping
mall bookstore, go to the rack where they keep the best-sellers such as
"Garfield Gets Spayed", and you'll see a half-dozen books telling you
how to be excellent: "In Search of Excellence", "Finding Excellence",
"Grasping Hold of Excellence", "Where to Hide Your Excellence at Night
So the Cleaning Personnel Don't Steal It", etc.
		-- Dave Barry, "In Search of Excellence"
%
Excess on occasion is exhilarating.  It prevents moderation from
acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.
		-- W. Somerset Maugham
%
Exhilaration is that feeling you get just after a great idea hits you,
and just before you realize what is wrong with it.
%
Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens
to you.
		-- Aldous Huxley
%
Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
		-- Franklin P. Jones
%
Experience is what causes a person to make new mistakes instead of old ones.
%
Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.
%
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
%
Experience teaches you that the man who looks you straight in the eye,
particularly if he adds a firm handshake, is hiding something.
		-- Clifton Fadiman, "Enter Conversing"
%
Fame may be fleeting but obscurity is forever.
%
Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it
every six months.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Fashions have done more harm than revolutions.
		-- Victor Hugo
%
Fess:	Well, you must admit there is something innately humorous about
	a man chasing an invention of his own halfway across the galaxy.
Rod:	Oh yeah, it's a million yuks, sure.  But after all, isn't that the
	basic difference between robots and humans?
Fess:	What, the ability to form imaginary constructs?
Rod:	No, the ability to get hung up on them.
		-- Christopher Stasheff, "The Warlock in Spite of Himself"
%
Flattery is like cologne -- to be smelled, but not swallowed.
		-- Josh Billings
%
For an idea to be fashionable is ominous, since it must afterwards be
always old-fashioned.
%
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
		-- Harrison
%
For every credibility gap, there is a gullibility fill.
		-- R. Clopton
%
For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do.
		-- Paul of Tarsus, (Saint Paul)
%
	"For I perceive that behind this seemingly unrelated sequence
of events, there lurks a singular, sinister attitude of mind."
	"Whose?"
	"MINE! HA-HA!"
%
For men use, if they have an evil turn, to write it in marble:
and whoso doth us a good turn we write it in dust.
		-- Sir Thomas More
%
For most men life is a search for the proper manila envelope in which to
get themselves filed.
		-- Clifton Fadiman
%
For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
%
For perfect happiness, remember two things:
	(1) Be content with what you've got.
	(2) Be sure you've got plenty.
%
For those who like this sort of thing, this is the sort of thing they like.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
%
"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but
phone calls taper off."
		-- Johnny Carson
%
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #2

	If at first you don't succeed, think how many people
	you've made happy.
%
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #21

	Shall I compare thee to a Summer day?
	No, I guess not.
%
Fortune finishes the great quotations, #6

	"But, soft!  What light through yonder window breaks?"
	It's nothing, honey.  Go back to sleep.
%
Four fifths of the perjury in the world is expended on tombstones, women
and competitors.
		-- Lord Thomas Dewar
%
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
		-- Thomas Jones
%
Friendships last when each friend thinks he has a slight superiority
over the other.
		-- Honore DeBalzac
%
Genius is the talent of a person who is dead.
%
Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
		-- Elbert Hubbard
%
Get forgiveness now -- tomorrow you may no longer feel guilty.
%
Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles.
%
Go out and tell a lie that will make the whole family proud of you.
		-- Cadmus, to Pentheus, in "The Bacchae" by Euripides
%
Go slowly to the entertainments of thy friends, but quickly to their
misfortunes.
		-- Chilo
%
God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can chose our friends.
%
God must love the common man; He made so many of them.
%
Good advice is one of those insults that ought to be forgiven.
%
Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad
example.
		-- La Rouchefoucauld
%
Good judgement comes from experience.  Experience comes from bad judgement.
		-- Jim Horning
%
Gratitude, like love, is never a dependable international emotion.
		-- Joseph Alsop
%
Great minds run in great circles.
%
Greatness is a transitory experience. It is never consistent.
%
Growing old isn't bad when you consider the alternatives.
		-- Maurice Chevalier
%
Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.
%
Half the world is composed of people who have something to say and can't,
and the other half who have nothing to say and keep on saying it.
%
Hate is like acid.  It can damage the vessel in which it is stored as well
as destroy the object on which it is poured.
%
Hate the sin and love the sinner.
		-- Mahatma Gandhi
%
Have no friends not equal to yourself.
		-- Confucius
%
Having no talent is no longer enough.
		-- Gore Vidal
%
He had occasional flashes of silence that made his conversation perfectly
delightful.
		-- Sydney Smith
%
He had that rare weird electricity about him -- that extremely wild and heavy
presence that you only see in a person who has abandoned all hope of ever
behaving "normally."
		-- Hunter S. Thompson, "Fear and Loathing '72"
%
He hadn't a single redeeming vice.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
He is a man capable of turning any colour into grey.
		-- John LeCarre 
%
He is considered a most graceful speaker who can say nothing in the most words.
%
He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others.
		-- Samuel Johnson
%
He laughs at every joke three times... once when it's told, once when
it's explained, and once when he understands it.
%
He looked at me as if I were a side dish he hadn't ordered.
		-- Ring Lardner
%
He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
		-- Andrew Lang
%
He only knew his iron spine held up the sky -- he didn't realize his brain
had fallen to the ground.
		-- The Book of Serenity
%
He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
%
He walks as if balancing the family tree on his nose.
%
He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes.
%
He who always plows a straight furrow is in a rut.
%
He who despises himself nevertheless esteems himself as a self-despiser.
		-- Friedrich Nietzsche
%
He who hoots with owls by night cannot soar with eagles by day.
%
He who is flogged by fate and laughs the louder is a masochist.
%
He who is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
%
He who is known as an early riser need not get up until noon.
%
He who minds his own business is never unemployed.
%
He who walks on burning coals is sure to get burned.
		-- Sinbad
%
He who wonders discovers that this in itself is wonder.
		-- M.C. Escher
%
He's the kind of guy, that, well, if you were ever in a jam he'd
be there... with two slices of bread and some chunky peanut butter.
%
"He's the kind of man for the times that need the kind of man he is ..."
%
Her days were spent in a kind of slow bustle; always busy without getting
on, always behind hand and lamenting it, without altering her ways;
wishing to be an economist, without contrivance or regularity; dissatisfied
with her servants, without skill to make them better, and whether helping, or
reprimanding, or indulging them, without any power of engaging their respect.
		-- J. Austen
%
Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when
I grow up.
		-- Peter Drucker
%
Hi!  I'm Larry.  This is my brother Bob, and this is my other brother
Jimbo.  We thought you might like to know the names of your assailants.
%
Higgins:	Doolittle, you're either an honest man or a rogue.
Doolittle:	A little of both, Guv'nor.  Like the rest of us, a
		little of both.
		-- Shaw, "Pygmalion"
%
Hindsight is always 20:20.
		-- Billy Wilder
%
Hindsight is an exact science.
%
His life was formal; his actions seemed ruled with a ruler.
%
His mind is like a steel trap: full of mice.
		-- Foghorn Leghorn
%
History repeats itself -- the first time as a tragi-comedy, the second
time as bedroom farce.
%
History repeats itself only if one does not listen the first time.
%
History repeats itself.  That's one thing wrong with history.
%
Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
		-- Robert Frost, "The Death of the Hired Man"
%
Home life as we understand it is no more natural to us than a cage is
to a cockatoo.
		-- George Bernard Shaw
%
Hope is a good breakfast, but it is a bad supper.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
Hope is a waking dream.
		-- Aristotle
%
Hope not, lest ye be disappointed.
		-- M. Horner
%
How comes it to pass, then, that we appear such cowards in reasoning,
and are so afraid to stand the test of ridicule?
		-- A. Cooper
%
How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on.
%
How many "coming men" has one known!  Where on earth do they all go to?
		-- Sir Arthur Wing Pinero
%
However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional
manner ... sulking and nausea.
		-- Tom K. Ryan
%
Human kind cannot bear very much reality.
		-- T.S. Eliot, "Four Quartets: Burnt Norton"
%
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, 
responsible, and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and 
immature.
		-- Tom Robbins
%
Humans are communications junkies.  We just can't get enough.
		-- Alan Kay
%
Humility is the first of the virtues -- for other people.
		-- Oliver Wendell Holmes
%
I allow the world to live as it chooses, and I allow myself to live as I
choose.
%
I always choose my friends for their good looks and my enemies for their
good intellects.  Man cannot be too careful in his choice of enemies.
		-- Oscar Wilde, "The Picture of Dorian Gray"
%
I always pass on good advice.  It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never any good to oneself.
		-- Oscar Wilde, "An Ideal Husband"
%
I always say beauty is only sin deep.
		-- Saki, "Reginald's Choir Treat"
%
I am an optimist.  It does not seem too much use being anything else.
		-- Winston Churchill
%
I am firm.  You are obstinate.  He is a pig-headed fool.
		-- Katharine Whitehorn
%
I am looking for a honest man.
		-- Diogenes the Cynic
%
"I am ready to meet my Maker.  Whether my Maker is prepared for the
great ordeal of meeting me is another matter."
		-- Winston Churchill
%
I believe in getting into hot water; it keeps you clean.
		-- G.K. Chesterton
%
I call them as I see them.  If I can't see them, I make them up.
		-- Biff Barf
%
I can give you my word, but I know what it's worth and you don't.
		-- Nero Wolfe, "Over My Dead Body"
%
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write
faster than anybody who can write better.
		-- A.J. Liebling
%
I can't seem to bring myself to say, "Well, I guess I'll be toddling along."
It isn't that I can't toddle.  It's that I can't guess I'll toddle.
		-- Robert Benchley
%
I can't stand squealers; hit that guy.
		-- Albert Anastasia
%
I can't understand it.  I can't even understand the people who can
understand it.
		-- Queen Juliana of the Netherlands.
%
I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.  I'm frightened
of the old ones.
		-- John Cage
%
I cannot and will not cut my conscience to fit this year's fashions.
		-- Lillian Hellman
%
I consider the day misspent that I am not either charged with a crime,
or arrested for one.
		-- "Ratsy" Tourbillon
%
I didn't get sophisticated -- I just got tired.  But maybe that's what
sophisticated is -- being tired.
		-- Rita Gain
%
"I didn't know it was impossible when I did it."
%
I disagree with what you say, but will defend to the death your right to
tell such LIES!
%
I do not know myself and God forbid that I should.
		-- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
%
I do not know where to find in any literature, whether ancient or modern,
any adequate account of that nature with which I am acquainted.  Mythology
comes nearest to it of any.
		-- Henry David Thoreau
%
	"I don't know what you mean by 'glory'," Alice said.
	Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.  "Of course you don't --
till I tell you.  I meant 'there's a nice knock-down argument for you!'"
	"But glory doesn't mean 'a nice knock-down argument'," Alice
objected.
	"When I use a word," Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful
tone, "it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less."
	"The question is," said Alice, "whether you can make words mean
so many different things."
	"The question is," said Humpty Dumpty, "which is to be master --
that's all."
		-- Lewis Carrol, "Through the Looking Glass"
%
I don't know who my grandfather was; I am much more concerned to know
what his grandson will be.
		-- Abraham Lincoln
%
I don't know why we're here, I say we all go home and free associate.
%
I don't make the rules, Gil, I only play the game.
		-- Cash McCall
%
I don't mind arguing with myself.  It's when I lose that it bothers me.
		-- Richard Powers
%
I don't remember it, but I have it written down.
%
"I don't think they could put him in a mental hospital.  On the other
hand, if he were already in, I don't think they'd let him out."
%
"I don't understand," said the scientist, "why you lemmings all rush down
to the sea and drown yourselves."

"How curious," said the lemming. "The one thing I don't understand is why
you human beings don't."
		-- James Thurber
%
I don't want to bore you, but there's nobody else around for me to bore.
%
I either want less decadence or more chance to participate in it.
%
I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.
		-- Mae West
%
I give you the man who -- the man who -- uh, I forgets the man who?
		-- Beauregard Bugleboy
%
I got vision, and the rest of the world wears bifocals.
		-- Butch Cassidy
%
I guess I've been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people...
Certainty is just an emotion.
		-- Hal Clement
%
I hate mankind, for I think myself one of the best of them, and I know
how bad I am.
		-- Samuel Johnson
%
I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park
there's nothing else to do.
		-- Lenny Bruce
%
I have discovered that all human evil comes from this, man's being unable
to sit still in a room.
		-- Blaise Pascal
%
I have found little that is good about human beings.  In my experience
most of them are trash.
		-- Sigmund Freud
%
I have great faith in fools -- self confidence my friends call it.
		-- Edgar Allan Poe
%
I have learned silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind.
		-- Kahlil Gibran
%
I have made mistakes but I have never made the mistake of claiming
that I have never made one.
		-- James Gordon Bennett
%
I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his
own eyes.  What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks
of himself.  To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.
		-- Antoine de Saint-Exupery
%
I knew one thing: as soon as anyone said you didn't need a gun, you'd better
take one along that worked.
		-- Raymond Chandler
%
I love mankind ... It's people I hate.
		-- Schulz
%
	I made it a rule to forbear all direct contradictions to the sentiments
of others, and all positive assertion of my own.  I even forbade myself the use
of every word or expression in the language that imported a fixed opinion, such
as "certainly", "undoubtedly", etc.   I adopted instead of them "I conceive",
"I apprehend", or "I imagine" a thing to be so or so; or "so it appears to me
at present".
	When another asserted something that I thought an error, I denied
myself the pleasure of contradicting him abruptly, and of showing him
immediately some absurdity in his proposition.  In answering I began by
observing that in certain cases or circumstances his opinion would be right,
but in the present case there appeared or semed to me some difference, etc.
	I soon found the advantage of this change in my manner; the
conversations I engaged in went on more pleasantly.  The modest way in which I
proposed my opinions procured them a readier reception and less contradiction.
I had less mortification when I was found to be in the wrong, and I more easily
prevailed with others to give up their mistakes and join with me when I
happened to be in the right.
		-- Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
%
"I may appear to be just sitting here like a bucket of tapioca, but don't
let appearances fool you.  I'm approaching old age ... at the speed of light."
		-- Prof. Cosmo Fishhawk
%
I may be getting older, but I refuse to grow up!
%
I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.
		-- Ashleigh Brilliant
%
I never killed a man that didn't deserve it.
		-- Mickey Cohen
%
I prefer rogues to imbeciles because they sometimes take a rest.
		-- Alexandre Dumas, fils
%
I profoundly believe it takes a lot of practice to become a moral slob.
		-- William F. Buckley
%
I put the shotgun in an Adidas bag and padded it out with four pairs of
tennis socks, not my style at all, but that was what I was aiming for:  If
they think you're crude, go technical; if they think you're technical, go
crude.  I'm a very technical boy.  So I decided to get as crude as possible.
These days, though, you have to be pretty technical before you can even
aspire to crudeness.
		-- William Gibson, "Johnny Mnemonic"
%
"... I should explain that I was wearing a black velvet cape that was
supposed to make me look like the dashing, romantic Zorro but which actually
made me look like a gigantic bat wearing glasses ..."
		-- Dave Barry, "The Wet Zorro Suit and Other Turning
		   Points in l'Amour"
%
I sometimes think that God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
I think I'm schizophrenic.  One half of me's paranoid and the other half's
out to get him.
%
I treasure this strange combination found in very few persons: a fierce
desire for life as well as a lucid perception of the ultimate futility of
the quest.
		-- Madeleine Gobeil
%
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in
my body.  Then I realized who was telling me this.
		-- Emo Phillips
%
I waited and waited and when no message came I knew it must be from you.
%
I will follow the good side right to the fire, but not into it if I can
help it.
		-- Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
%
I'll defend to the death your right to say that, but I never said I'd
listen to it!
		-- Tom Galloway with apologies to Voltaire
%
I'll give you my opinion of the human race in a nutshell ... their heart's
in the right place, but their head is a thoroughly inefficient organ.
		-- W. Somerset Maugham, "The Summing Up"
%
I'll pretend to trust you if you'll pretend to trust me.
%
I'm not the person your mother warned you about... her imagination isn't
that good.
		-- Amy Gorin
%
"I'm really enjoying not talking to you ... Let's not talk again ____REAL
soon ..."
%
I'm so miserable without you, it's almost like you're here.
%
I'm sorry if the correct way of doing things offends you.
%
I'm sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
%
I'm successful because I'm lucky.   The harder I work, the luckier I get.
%
I've already told you more than I know.
%
I've found my niche.  If you're wondering why I'm not there, there was
this little hole in the bottom ...
		-- John Croll
%
I've given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
%
I've known him as a man, as an adolescent and as a child -- sometimes
on the same day.
%
"I've seen, I SAY, I've seen better heads on a mug of beer"
		-- Senator Claghorn
%
Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like
solitary confinement.
%
If a man has talent and cannot use it, he has failed.
		-- Thomas Wolfe
%
If God had intended Man to Walk, He would have given him Feet.
%
If God had meant for us to be naked, we would have been born that way.
%
If God had really intended men to fly, he'd make it easier to get to the
airport.
		-- George Winters
%
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
%
If God hadn't wanted you to be paranoid, He wouldn't have given you such
a vivid imagination.
%
If God wanted us to be brave, why did he give us legs?
		-- Marvin Kitman
%
If he should ever change his faith, it'll be because he no longer thinks
he's God.
%
If I'm over the hill, why is it I don't recall ever being on top?
		-- Jerry Muscha
%
If man is only a little lower than the angels, the angels should reform.
		-- Mary Wilson Little
%
If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.
		-- A. Einstein.
%
If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.
		-- Oscar Wilde, "Phrases and Philosophies for the Use
		of the Young"
%
If only I could be respected without having to be respectable.
%
If only one could get that wonderful feeling of accomplishment without
having to accomplish anything.
%
If only you had a personality instead of an attitude.
%
If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough.
%
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward,
then we are a sorry lot indeed.
		-- Albert Einstein
%
If people see that you mean them no harm, they'll never hurt you, nine
times out of ten!
%
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
%
If some people didn't tell you, you'd never know they'd been away on vacation.
%
If someone says he will do something "without fail", he won't.
%
If the weather is extremely bad, church attendance will be down.  If
the weather is extremely good, church attendance will be down.  If the
bulletin covers are in short supply, however, church attendance will
exceed all expectations.
		-- Reverend Chichester
%
If there is a wrong way to do something, then someone will do it.
		-- Edward A. Murphy Jr.
%
If there was any justice in the world, "trust" would be a four-letter word.
%
If things don't improve soon, you'd better ask them to stop helping you.
%
"If we were meant to fly, we wouldn't keep losing our luggage."
%
If we were meant to get up early, God would have created us with alarm clocks.
%
If you are a fatalist, what can you do about it?
		-- Ann Edwards-Duff
%
If you are honest because honesty is the best policy, your honesty is corrupt.
%
If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, then
you clearly don't understand the situation.
%
If you can't say anything good about someone, sit right here by me.
		-- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
%
If you cannot in the long run tell everyone what you have been doing,
your doing was worthless.
		-- Edwim Schrodinger
%
If you continually give you will continually have.
%
If you didn't get caught, did you really do it?
%
If you didn't have most of your friends, you wouldn't have most of
your problems.
%
If you do not wish a man to do a thing, you had better get him to talk about
it; for the more men talk, the more likely they are to do nothing else.
		-- Carlyle
%
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
%
If you don't do it, you'll never know what would have happened if you
had done it.
%
If you don't do the things that are not worth doing, who will?
%
If you don't go to other men's funerals they won't go to yours.
		-- Clarence Day
%
If you don't have a nasty obituary you probably didn't matter.
		-- Freeman Dyson
%
If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk!
%
If you don't say anything, you won't be called on to repeat it.
		-- Calvin Coolidge
%
If you explain so clearly that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.
%
If you flaunt it, expect to have it trashed.
%
If you float on instinct alone, how can you calculate the buoyancy for
the computed load?
		-- Christopher Hodder-Williams
%
If you go out of your mind, do it quietly, so as not to disturb those
around you.
%
If you had any brains, you'd be dangerous.
%
If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to
boot yourself in the posterior.
		-- A.J. Liebling, "The Press"
%
If you keep your mind sufficiently open, people will throw a lot of
rubbish into it.
		-- William Orton
%
If you lived today as if it were your last, you'd buy up a box of rockets
and fire them all off, wouldn't you?
		-- Garrison Keillor
%
If you look good and dress well, you don't need a purpose in life.
		-- Robert Pante, fashion consultant
%
If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you
really make them think they'll hate you.
%
If you mess with a thing long enough, it'll break.
		-- Schmidt
%
If you notice that a person is deceiving you, they must not be
deceiving you very well.
%
If you talk to God, you are praying; if God talks to you, you have
schizophrenia.
		-- Thomas Szasz
%
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
%
If you think the problem is bad now, just wait until we've solved it.
		-- Arthur Kasspe
%
If you think things can't get worse it's probably only because you
lack sufficient imagination.
%
If you try to please everyone, somebody is not going to like it.
%
If you want to know how old a man is, ask his brother-in-law.
%
If you will practice being fictional for a while, you will understand that
fictional characters are sometimes more real than people with bodies and
heartbeats.
%
If you would understand your own age, read the works of fiction produced
in it.  People in disguise speak freely.
%
If you're careful enough, nothing bad or good will ever happen to you.
%
If you're constantly being mistreated, you're cooperating with the treatment.
%
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being wrong than forgiveness for being 
right.
%
It's hard not to like a man of many qualities, even if most of them are bad.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's hard to keep your shirt on when you're getting something off your chest.
%
It's interesting to think that many quite distinguished people have
bodies similar to yours.
%
It's only by NOT taking the human race seriously that I retain
what fragments of my once considerable mental powers I still possess.
		-- Roger Noe
%
It's reassuring to know that if you behave strangely enough, society will
take full responsibility for you.
%
It's sweet to be remembered, but it's often cheaper to be forgotten.
%
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have.
%
Just because I turn down a contract on a guy doesn't mean he isn't going
to get hit.
		-- Joey
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they AREN'T after you.
%
"Just out of curiosity does this actually mean something or have some
of the few remaining bits of your brain just evaporated?"
		-- Patricia O Tuama, rissa@killer.DALLAS.TX.US
%
Just weigh your own hurt against the hurt of all the others, and then
do what's best.
		-- Lovers and Other Strangers
%
Just when you thought you were winning the rat race, along comes a faster rat!!
%
Justice always prevails ... three times out of seven!
		-- Michael J. Wagner
%
Keep cool, but don't freeze.
		-- Hellman's Mayonnaise
%
Keep your mouth shut and people will think you stupid;
Open it and you remove all doubt.
%
Lack of capability is usually disguised by lack of interest.
%
Lack of money is the rlething tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow
morning, sleep late.
		-- Henny Youngman
%
If you're happy, you're successful.
%
If you're not very clever you should be conciliatory.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
In good speaking, should not the mind of the speaker know the truth of
the matter about which he is to speak?
		-- Plato
%
In matters of principle, stand like a rock;
in matters of taste, swim with the current.
		-- Thomas Jefferson
%
In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.
%
In success there's a tendency to keep on doing what you were doing.
		-- Alan Kay
%
In the misfortune of our friends we find something that is not displeasing
to us.
		-- La Rochefoucauld, "Maxims"
%
In this world some people are going to like me and some are not.  So, I may
as well be me.  Then I know if someone likes me, they like me.
%
In this world there are only two tragedies.  One is not getting what one
wants, and the other is getting it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
Innocence ends when one is stripped of the delusion that one likes oneself.
		-- Joan Didion, "On Self Respect"
%
Intolerance is the last defense of the insecure.
%
Involvement with people is always a very delicate thing --
it requires real maturity to become involved and not get all messed up.
		-- Bernard Cooke
%
It destroys one's nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It does not matter if you fall down as long as you pick up something
from the floor while you get up.
%
It doesn't matter what you do, it only matters what you say you've
done and what you're going to do.
%
It has been observed that one's nose is never so happy as when it is
thrust into the affairs of another, from which some physiologists have
drawn the inference that the nose is devoid of the sense of smell.
		-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
%
It has been said that man is a rational animal.  All my life I have
been searching for evidence which could support this.
		-- Bertrand Russell
%
It is all right to hold a conversation, but you should let go of it
now and then.
		-- Richard Armour
%
It is always the best policy to tell the truth, unless, of course,
you are an exceptionally good liar.
		-- Jerome K. Jerome
%
It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness.
%
It is better for civilization to be going down the drain than to be 
coming up it.
		-- Henry Allen
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is easier to make a saint out of a libertine than out of a prig.
		-- George Santayana
%
It is easy when we are in prosperity to give advice to the afflicted.
		-- Aeschylus
%
It is equally bad when one speeds on the guest unwilling to go, and when he
holds back one who is hastening.  Rather one should befriend the guest who
is there, but speed him when he wishes.
		-- Homer, "The Odyssey"
 
	[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
	 referring to scheduling.]
%
It is exactly because a man cannot do a thing that he is a proper judge of it.
		-- Oscar Wilde
%
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without
your help.
		-- Miss Manners
%
It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because
if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse a lot of people.
		-- Dolph Sharp, "I'm O.K., You're Not So Hot"
%
It is impossible for an optimist to be pleasantly surprised.
%
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
%
It is indeed desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to
our ancestors.
		-- Plutarch
%
It is much easier to be critical than to be correct.
		-- Benjamin Disraeli
%
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.
		-- Rene Descartes
%
It is not enough to have great qualities, we should also have the
management of them.
		-- La Rochefoucauld
%
It is not good for a man to be without knowledge,
and he who makes haste with his feet misses his way.
		-- Proverbs 19:2
%
It is often easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.
		-- Grace Murray Hopper
%
It is one thing to praise discipline, and another to submit to it.
		-- Cervantes
%
It is only people of small moral stature who have to stand on their dignity.
%
It is only the great men who are truly obscene.  If they had not dared
to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great.
		-- Havelock Ellis
%
It is the business of little minds to shrink.
		-- Carl Sandburg
%
It is the nature of extreme self-lovers, as they will set an house on fire,
and it were but to roast their eggs.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wisdom of crocodiles, that shed tears when they would devour.
		-- Francis Bacon
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
It matters not whether you win or lose; what matters is whether II win or lose.
		-- Darrin Weinberg
%
It may be bad manners to talk with your mouth full, but it isn't too
good either if you speak when your head is empty.
%
It may be that your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
warning to others.
%
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
%
It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people.  The good ones slept
better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.
		-- Woody Allen, "Side Effects"
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It takes a special kind of courage to face what we all have to face.
%
It takes all kinds to fill the freeways.
		-- Crazy Charlie
%
It takes both a weapon, and two people, to commit a murder.
%
It takes less time to do a thing right than it does to explain why you
did it wrong.
		-- H.W. Longfellow
%
It takes two to tell the truth: one to speak and one to hear.
%
It will be generally found that those who sneer habitually at human nature
and affect to despise it, are among its worst and least pleasant examples.
		-- Charles Dickens
%
It would be nice to be sure of anything the way some people are of everything.
%
It's amazing how many people you could be friends with if only they'd
make the first approach.
%
It's amazing how much "mature wisdom" resembles being too tired.
%
It's amazing how nice people are to you when they know you're going away.
		-- Michael Arlen
%
It's bad enough that life is a rat-race, but why do the rats always have to win?
%
It's better to be quotable than to be honest.
		-- Tom Stoppard
%
It's better to be wanted for murder that not to be wanted at all.
		-- Marty Winch
%
It's easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
It's easier to get forgiveness for being